Culture for failures

There are successful people, there are triers and there are quitters. In that group of triers, a vast majority are the ones who have been labelled failures more often than not. What people like to see is only the ones who are successful now. Triers are failures, at least for that moment. That is how, especially our culture looks at those people. Only the "black and white" success is worshiped and the rest is shunned away. From the moment a child starts schooling, there is only one thing which is appreciated. All people care about is instant success in everything. The parameters of being successful are in themselves as random as anything can be. Only those who are successful at every thing they do are treated well. For others, it is embarrassment, humiliation and the shame of being branded failures. Only true failures are the quitters. In our culture, if someone tries something and fails at it, he is scorned upon, looked down upon and even made fun of.
But in reality, it is actually the failures that we see in life that make us what we are. It is only failures that keep people humble, that develops and brings out the true character. It is failures that teach us how to deal with them. People who have always only been successful till a point, really have no clue how to deal with a failure. The best examples are the child prodigies in almost every field. Because of their talent and genius, they see only success early on. But, a very minuscule percentage of those prodigies go on to become greats because the first time they hit a roadblock or a failure, they do not know how to deal with it and they fizz out or worse, quit.
There are geniuses and heroes. Both are considered successful. But the difference is, geniuses are admired but heroes are idolized. Mostly, geniuses just take the world by storm by their brilliance, whereas heroes, go through a hell before emerging out on the other side being successful. Not everybody can be a genius and that is why we cannot relate that much to them. On the hand, everybody can be a hero because almost everybody goes through hardships. That is why we relate to them more. It gives the rest of us, a hope that difficulties can be overcome.
The surest path to success is through failures and enduring hardships. It grows you from within and shapes your character. It makes you stronger. All those people who have not failed even once, I just have to say that you simply do not know enough. Success is not only how quickly you achieved it, it is how high you bounce after hitting the bottom. Success is, if you can and have, got up after hitting the low.
So don't scold or feel ashamed if your kid failed at trying something. Do not ridicule or judge your friends for failing at something for failing is a way of discovering what you are supposed to do. If you keep at it despite failures, then you succeed. There are no timelines to it, but achieving is inevitable.
Unfortunately in our culture we lay too much emphasis and appreciation on succeeding every time. Be it with kids performing at school, professionals at work, earning money or succeeding at sports and art. We fail to appreciate the process of trying to attain success through failures. Through trying out different things before figuring out ourselves and what and how to keep going on. We have seen parents scolding their kids for even coming second in class or worse, on just passing. We fail to give the kids a chance to explore other things. Not everybody is meant to do one thing. And to figure out what you are meant to do, entails embarking on a journey and treading a path of failures, on which after each setback you know yourself more and are one step closer to where you should be.
We as a society should be more open to the concept of people failing and accepting them. Not to shun them or mock them, for if they are not quitting, they are on the right path.
These words sound great from well known people who have beat the odds. I am no such person. But what I am is a normal person who has seen a fair share of failures and some successes. I am not successful by the yardstick people have for success. Not yet. That is why I thought it was more important to write this now rather than when I eventually beat the odds. For all the triers, like me, the most important thing is to believe in ourselves. Nobody would ever believe in you if yourself do not. Chances are, that even if you believe in yourself, nobody else will, but then, you will at least have you on your side and that is better than having nobody. One thing about luck and tough times is that they change. It might even take years but eventually they will change. But, when they do change, it is your responsibility to be ready to exploit the change. To be ready by not quitting, by being prepared and by keeping the self belief alive and kicking. No body is a failure until they quit, no matter what the society and the world may think. "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
If rather, you have been pretty successful already, but, you know someone who is still on that path and not yet out on the other side, do not shun them, or mock them. Try to know their journey. You will be surprised to know that if you were in their shoes, you might have been in the same position. There is nothing people remember more than the people who help and support them in their tough times.
What I have learnt from my experiences is not to judge anyone who has failed or is failing at the moment. For me, I respect those people more who failed and then came back better. We talk about tasting success, but, you are not complete if you haven't tasted failure.
If I were to hire someone for a position, and could hire only one person, and had two options, one, someone who has been out and out winner throughout his life and the other who might not be an outright genius, but still good at his work, but would failed at some point and bounced back, I would hire the second one. That is because, there would be clear evidence that he had seen failures and came out better and hence knows how to handle them better than someone who hasn't seen any.
I seriously hope we change our outlook towards failures.
I have succeeded some of the times, failed many many times, but I know "Its not over until I win, because God built me to last."